Emmett the hospital volunteer
by I Am The Sparkly Vampire
Summary: Carlise demands Emmett move on from his lazy ways. So he gets Emmett a dangerous job for a vampire at least and enrolls him as a hospital volunteer but lets face it Emmetts quite clumsy and for him disaster is only ever around the corner................
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Emmett is lazy no more

EPOV

I lay on the sofa, watching the baseball game. It was quite interesting for once, the games of late had not been good, or maybe it was because the batters hits were weak, well to me they were weak, as I could whack a ball a thousand meters into the air effortlessly, well I could whack the players to a pulp effortlessly so that's not saying much. The team were probably putting in the maximum amount of effort though and I shouldn't be criticizing them, I mean they are probably some of the best athletes in the world and their human; we can't all be blessed with being a supernatural being. Well, we can't all be blessed with beautiful goddess's as a girlfriend, I'm just one of the lucky few in life that do. I glanced behind me, my beautiful goddess was with me, Rose was perched on the arm of the sofa staring into nothingness. Rose didn't like baseball or rather she didn't like human baseball, it bored her much like it bored me the majority of the time. I drifted of, I was daydreaming. Thinking about what a fabulous baseball coach I could be if I were given the chance, though most baseball teams don't give vacancies for vampires when they advertise team spaces. Not that they know vampires exist. That would be breaking the volturi's fundamental rule, I remembered the day when Aro told me I Was not to break that rule.

***

"Emmett Cullen" a giant figure shouted as he sauntered towards me "Under no circumstances should you EVER tell humans about are existence, or I will burn you like Joan of arc." I shuddered that first meeting with Aro (after becoming a vampire) had freaked me out, I hadn't known him then.

***

I'd always thought that was a daft rule, they don't in force it very well I mean look at Edward he told Bella (While she was still human) that he was a vampire. "No I didn't." Edward called from his bedroom. I should have known he would be reading my thoughts, nothing's private in this house. "Yes you did" I shouted back "No I didn't, she guessed it for herself." Edward continued "Sure" I said "Edward, common Bro if Bella had figured out what we were for her self without your help she would have thought that you turned her into a radioactive spider last summer remember?" "Fine you win I cannot be bothered to fight when I know I'll lose." He said "or lose an arm" I laughed "I'm way stronger than you and you know it. "Fine" I heard and then he was silent. I was preparing myself for a fight as I heard footsteps approach the living room, but I realised it was Carlisle so I came out of my crouch position and sat back down on the sofa. I begun to stuff my face with blood pops, a new delicacy Aro had sent over with Bella's many gifts. They were quite nice but I preferred fresh blood myself. I wouldn't be requesting he sent any more. Carlisle came into the living room "Emmett" he said "I need to speak to you" "give me the short version Carlisle I can't be doing with your dramas today." "You see that's the sort of attitude that's driven me to this Emmett" he shouted. I was shocked this quite calm man was bellowing at me but I didn't say anything about it. "I feel you are way to lazy and ignorant to anyone who loves, appreciates or does anything for you in this house. You are rude to them and if they are lucky you won't beat them up. I have had enough of it I'm not putting up with it any longer." He huffed "ooh what you going to do Carlisle? Send me to summer camp?" I Joked. "No" he said "You are going to work and you are going to work somewhere where I can keep and eye on you. That's why I have enrolled you in the volunteer's course at the hospital, where you will work with patients." Rose smirked and I heard my entire family (apart from Carlisle) laugh. "Oh no Carlisle, you didn't did you?" "Yes I did, you start tomorrow." "Oh man that's so unfair." "No it's not" Rose giggled "Your just get a taste of our medicine for once" "LOL" laughed Alice. "Ironic don't you think" Edward shouted. No one answered "Oh don't you get it, I'll explain. You know the Hospital… Medicine." "We know" all seven Cullen's beckoned. "aww" Edward murmured "You try to be funny and look what you get. I won't waste my breath next time." "Good" the Cullen's repeated "because you're not funny." Edward pretend to cry "Talk about a strike through the heart (sniff) and you call your self's my family." "Alright" I bellowed "back to the matter in hand." "You mean back to you becoming the centre of attention" Carlisle added. "Oh why do you have to be such a **Spandex** Carlisle?" I screamed. "Do you even know what a **Spandex** is?" Carlisle replied "No It just fitted the moment alright" I shouted. "**Spandex is** an elastic synthetic fabric often used to make cycling clothes or dance leggings" Carlisle informed us "I have some **spandex** dance leggings" Alice chimed in "You can try them some time if you want." "Look" I bellowed "I didn't ask for a dictionary as a father or a dancer as a sister, so just bog off." I charged upstairs leaving the others to think about their stupidity. I mean me in a hospital. Not going to happen.

**That's the first chapter of my new story Emmett the hospital volunteer let me know what you think! And plz review. If you liked this story I have two others The Urge to eat IT and Edwards's misery, Bella's Destiny which are both still ongoing.**

**If you didn't understand the spandex bold thing it was because myself the Vampire with a pen and Vampire with Braces all gave each other words which we had to fit into the story, obviously myne was Spandex. Keep looking for updates and I hope your enjoying the story so far. T rating for safety it probably won't contain anything but you never no if I will get a few ideas in the future. **

**Vampire Who Falls Over A Lot **


	2. Chapter 2: he wasn't lying

Chapter 2: He wasn't lying damn he wasn't lying

EPOV (Emmett)

I lay sprawled across my-unused bed. Surly Carlisle wasn't serious about sending me to work was he? I felt like punching a wall, I could feel the frustration bubbling up inside of me. If only Jasper had brought me that punch bag I'd requested for my 104th birthday, I thought I'd better ask for a present considering Alice had been throwing parties for all of us since Edward had met Bella. But I couldn't quite understand why as Bella hated parties. I contemplated with going on a hunting trip but the visitor outside soon made me go off that idea. I turned around. Alice was still perched on the thick branch that sat across the side of the house. God I should of broken that branch. I was still looking out the window, Alice waved. "Go away Alice" I shouted. "What? Sorry I can't hear you" she chimed "Alice" I began to say but the small vampire had already zoomed through the window and into my room. "Tell me again" she smiled. "I said go away you spiky haired freak." Alice took offence "Jeez Emmett Someone got up on the wrong side of the coffin this morning." "Huh Funny I don't sleep" I chuckled. "I know you don't, just don't be so grumpy your killing my vibe." "Alice you never had a vibe, now what do you want?" "To go shopping" she shrieked. "Hah no seriously what do you want? I'm surprised you haven't seen that I'm going to strangle you in a minute." "Two actually but it won't hurt." she shrugged. "Oh well if it's not going to hurt…" I pounced, grabbing Alice and knocking her to the ground, my hands just above her neck, she squirmed against my tremendous grip. I grabbed her neck, knowing it wasn't going to hurt. We fought like this for a minute then I let go. "Well, if that didn't hurt I will bite you instead, I'll poison you with my venom then rip of your head." Alice laughed "No, you won't Jasper's coming up the stairs." Oh Jasper was coming, I felt calmer already. "Hello" He called "Have you killed my wife yet or is it safe to come in." "Fine" I shouted "you may enter" Alice slapped Jasper across the wrist, she was smirking. "What do you want Jas" I said. "Carlisle wants you to go hunting because you will be around a lot of humans tomorrow. He says the stench can be overwhelming." "Even so I think I can manage." "If it's all the same Em he'd rather you go just to be on the safe side. But don't be long, oh and by the way Edwards coming with you." "What I need babysitting now" I murmured "No, Edwards finding it hard to be around Rennesmee. She's got a small sent but he hasn't been hunting for months." Jasper replied "He will meet you out the window, Carlisle says leave now." "Ok." I said pulling my jumper on it had fallen off as I had fought with the small pixie who was standing opposite me. Alice and Jasper walked towards the door. "Alice" I said "what did you actually want?" she spun around "To see if you wanted to try on my **spandex** leggings." She giggled.

***

EDPOV (Edward)

I watched Emmett launch himself out of his bedroom window; unusually he was wearing a jumper. We both charged into the depths of the forest, we were hunting deer. I listened to Emmett, he was thinking about why Carlisle was forcing him to work at the hospital he couldn't understand why, he was almost… hurt by Carlisle's actions against him. I think Carlisle's previous words had hit home but he didn't show it. We must off gone round in a full circle though I hadn't noticed- my senses carried me towards any fresh blood I didn't even have to think about it.- We were near mine and Bella's meadow. As we were approaching the clearing I saw four deer's out of the corner of my eye. That meant two for me and two for Emmett, I glanced at my brother and we locked on our targets. Charging straight towards the deer we pounced, our prey sprawled across the floor as it realised its fate. I bit straight into the deer's neck not thinking about what I was doing, that was the easiest way to drink. The hot blood that gushed down my throat cured the burning pain. I got up from my dinner wiped my mouth and charged towards dessert, biting straight into its neck. This deer lay still, though it screamed in agony its wails becoming quieter as I feasted on its blood, the hot liquid demolished my hunger. Once again I stood up and wiped my mouth. I glanced round Emmett was beside me so we dashed home, racing at a lighting speed.

We entered the house; Carlisle was stood by the doorway. "Emmett are you ready son?" he asked "What are we going now?" he questioned, clearly confused. "Yes, you've been gone all night it's half-past seven, I start at eight. "Awe" Emmett stamped his foot on the floor. "Welcome to my world." Carlisle patted Emmett on the back. With his head hung low Emmett left swiftly, Carlisle quickly followed. I exited the house, and dashed across the grass making my way towards the cottage.

***

CPOV

"How are you today Mrs. Owens" I asked the ageing lady "Very well doctor. Can I go home now?" her frail voice slightly anxious. I was staring at Emmett; he was fiddling with a syringe. "Emmett" I said hoping the message would be clear "What?" he questioned. "Down" I said "Or even better in the bin" Emmett slumped and slowly crossed the room towards the yellow bin." I glanced back to Mrs. Owens who was smiling kindly at me; suddenly though her expression changed "My arm hurts" she whispered "It feels like someone's prodding me." I looked up; Emmett was prodding the old women. "What's up with you today then?" He shouted "Emmett she's not death" I said. Emmett grabbed the lady's charts from the front of her bed. "Not death" he scrawled across the white paper. I scrutinized "um can you stop prodding her" I asked. Emmett was acting weird, even for Emmett. "I want her to pay attention to me" He whined. "Emmett out" I said sternly. Thankfully Emmett left the room but not before knocking a stack of bandages of one of the tables.

I was nearly finished talking to Mrs. Owens, the old lady who was just quite lonely. Julie the nurse knocked on the door. "Doctor Cullen" She gasped, she'd clearly been running "I think you'd better come its Emmett." I ran out the room (At human pace) wandering what awful thing Emmett may have done to himself or worse a patient. Had he impaled himself on some bed post or something? The nurse walked me down to wear Emmett was "He's in corridor F" she said before dashing off. A corridor surly he'd be in a room? Or maybe he was to badly injured to move. I braced myself and opened the door. Emmett was skidding down the corridor in a wheelchair, spinning the wheels as quickly as he could to be at a faster speed. "Weeh" he squealed, sounding similar to a young girl. "Emmett" I bellowed "get out of the chair now." "But I'm having so much fun you never told me hospitals were like playgrounds." "Because there not, you just think you're in one." "Do I?" Emmett questioned "Emmett your testing my patience, get out of the chair and go to the Mercedes I'll be there once I have finished my shift." Emmett slumped and headed out of the hospital. "Don't get out of the car until I get there." I called after him but he was long gone. Why did I think it would be a good idea to enrol Emmett as a Hospital Volunteer? Why? My cell phone rang I picked it up and answered it on the second tone. "Carlisle" Alice gasped "Don't let Emmett out of your sight." "Alice" I said "Calm down I know about the wheelchair." "No it's not that" "It's…" Next all I heard was a massive bang and the hospital alarm sound. What had Emmett done now?

**Don't you just love a cliff-hanger? I will update soon but you will have to wait for the minute. Please let me know what you think.**

**Vampire Who Falls Over A lot **


	3. Chapter 3: Disturbances

**Hey my loyal readers, here is the next instalment of my story. If you didn't like the cliff hanger in my last chapter sorry but you're not going to find out what Emmett's done till chapter 4 though I drop some hints in this chapter please review! And thank you to anyone that has read/reviewed my story already. I do drop some hints as to what Emmett has done during this chapter, but you will have to wait.**

**Disclaimer: These are not my characters they are Stephanie Meyers (SM'S) **

**Breaking dawn spoilers contained in the chapter. **

**By the way Bella and Edward are married at present in this chapter but they don't have Rennesmee or the cottage and they haven't been to Esme's Isle **

Chapter 3: Disturbances

CPOV

(Besides the alarm) all I could hear was screaming. Why were people screaming? Oh god what had Emmett done now? I specifically said GO TO THE CAR not go steel some young child's toy, not go smack an old lady. GO TO THE CAR and when I said go to the car I meant it I didn't say go blow up the hospital. That would kill patients, nurses and doctors in minutes. Emmett and I would most likely be the only survivors of an explosion. "We weren't all immortal." I said to him "go to the car this isn't a playground," that didn't mean it was his only personal palace. Why didn't anything I say get through to that thick brain of his? It was a mistake bringing him to the hospital a mistake I probably wouldn't be able to be put right without spending a very long time in jail. I thought about if they gave me life that would be a shock. The next 400 years spent in prison due to my manic son. Suddenly the hospital sprinklers burst into life, (my unbeating heart would of speed up at this point if I'd had one) I realised what Emmett had done, sprinklers meant fire. I would lose my job because of my stupid vampire son who couldn't control himself. I started to run, (at human pace) pulling my cell out of my pocket I searched for Alice's number. How bad was the damage going to be? I flicked through the list of contacts, Esme? No I didn't want house keeping. I wanted an insight into a certain someone's behaviour. I needed to know what exactly Alice had seen Emmett do and for that I needed Alice or Edward. I had assumed it was one of the two previous stunts, but it evidently wasn't. Finally I hit on Alice's number, (this was as I ran past a sign stating that the sleeping disorder unit was behind me, MENTAL NOTE TO SELF: VISIT THE UNIT SOMETIME.) I shook my head and waited for Alice to pick up, "common" I murmured, to low for any human to here. Finally she answered.

The conversation went like this:

"Alice"

"Rosalie actually what do you want?"

"Rosalie, why have you got Alice's phone?"

"Because it's on Alice's bed."

"Can you get Alice I need to speak to her no offence but I need a talented vampire."

"Can't" she snarled

"Why not?"

"She's in the bath"

"The bath? She does realise we only have that as a human prop… doesn't she? I mean are kind don't need baths."

"She knows. But she said that she wanted to try having one because it looked fun when she had to shower Bella when she broke her leg. Seeing as Edward was still too much of a 1901 man to do it."

"1901 man?" I questioned

"Oh because he's like didn't want to see Bella naked until they were married. You know him being a 108 year old virgin and all."

"Too much information, anyway can you get her out friken bath please."

"Can't"

"Why" I sighed

"Says do not disturb on the door. What's the matter anyway?"

"Your stupid boyfriend is what's the matter is, the hospital is in pieces because of him and Alice said she'd seen him do something. Now are you sure you can't get Alice?"

"Positive."

"Get Edward then he can read her mind."

"Can't"

I sighed again "why not?"

"Him and Bella are well… busy."

I screamed "Rosalie I don't care which one you disturb but I need one of them now and it cannot wait."

Rosalie giggled "I'll get Edward then."

I heard Rosalie dash into Edwards room.

"Rosalie can't you see we are busy in here?" I heard Edward snarl

"I can" She laughed "But Carlisle wants you"

"Can't you get Alice instead?" Edward snarled

"I could of" Rosalie started. "But you decided to disturb me instead" Edward Finished.

Without any more arguments Edward came to the phone "Carlisle" Edward sighed. "This better be good you have disturbed myself and Bella" "It is" I assured him, "I'll apologize to you both when I return home, But I need to know what exactly Emmett has done…"

**I will update soon please review **


	4. Chapter 4: apologizes

**Hello! I got twilight on Monday Yey! I have watched it 3 times already**

**Has anybody seen the Catherine Hardwick's Vampire kiss montage that's hilarious!**

**Here's the next instalment **

Chapter 4: Apologizes

CPOV

I waited anxiously for an answer from Edward; I had to know exactly what he had done. "Umm, let me see" Edward said. "eww Alice can you keep your thoughts about Jasper to yourself please, that's something I didn't want to know" Edward screamed. "Sorry" a muffled voice replied. "Right for starters where is he?" I asked "Unit 2 corridor 4, but I don't think your get round the conventional way their sealing the doors off." "Ok I'll go round the back; it shouldn't be a problem, now I need to know what he's done." I said. "Hang on just a minute." Edward chuckled "Edward this isn't the time for laughter. I need answers." "Sorry it's just…" Edward was laughing hysterically now. "Edward" I said "Give the phone to Rosalie, calm down and tell her what I need to know." I shouted. "Ok" he giggled as the phone was passed to Rose. "Right," she started "Emmett had dogged to avoid colliding with a patient who was on their way to theatre, only he lost his balanced and fell into the wall." "Oh" I muttered. "He's caused quite a mess down their, there is a fire." "Great, thank you Rosalie that's all." I put the phone down and exited the hospital. I checked no one was around before speeding round to unit 2. I walked through the fire exit. "Emmett" I shouted. "Where are you?" "Down here" he said. I walked forward through the smoke only to here a cry of pain. "Carlisle, you stood on me." Emmett screeched. "Sorry I thought you were down the corridor." I said "No, I'm down here like I said." "Cleary" I shouted, the alarms were louder here. "Doctor Cullen" a nurse shouted from behind me. "We have got every body out. Is your Son alright?" "Yes" he's fine, "Is it alright if I take him home." "Yes, of course, I'll cover for you." "Thank you" I said as I pulled Emmett up of the floor and towed him out the exit. "So I'm alright?" Emmett asked. "For now" I answered. "But maybe not when I rip you apart and tear you to shreds." I mumbled. Emmett still heard me. "Carlisle, it was and accident, I didn't mean to." Emmett explained. "That may be so. But it's on of your many accidents today and quite frankly I've had enough." "But" Emmett started. "No, you're not crawling out of this one sonny. You stepped over the line, I mean I bring you to my work to try and improve your behaviour. I asked you to behave for one day and act sensibly, but instead you mess around and you nearly cost me my job. Emmett do you realise how serious this is you nearly exposed are kind to humans." I lectured him. "But Carlisle, Edward told Bella that we were vampires and you didn't have a go at him." Emmett moaned. "Look Emmett your brother is older than you and wiser. You try to put everything on him to make him look bad instead of you but it doesn't work. Edward had been waiting for Bella his whole life; he told Bella we were vampires as he had no other choice. He wasn't just careless like you." I retaliated "Besides Bella figured out what we were herself." "Carlisle, like I said to Edward if he hadn't of told Bella about us she'd think we were radioactive spiders. Carlisle do I look like a radioactive spider to you?" he asked. "Emmett shut up and get in the car, I don't want another word from you till we get home." "But" "NO" I shouted. "Not one word." I pulled out of the hospital car park and began to drive home; Emmett was quite for the rest of the journey.

I parked the Mercedes in the garage; I glared at Emmett as he slammed the door of my lovely car. Emmett stormed of. "By the way you can't drop out from the job if you've volunteered for a day so you have to come to work with me tomorrow to." Their was no answer. I smiled slightly as I locked the Mercedes and walked out of the garage. Proud that I hadn't back down when I was talking to Emmett. Someone Had to Stand up to him and that someone was me.

"You weren't too hard on him were you?" Both Esme and Rosalie questioned as I entered the unused kitchen. "He got what he deserved." I replied "But Carlisle it was an accident you shouldn't be to hard on him." Rosalie said "Rose do you know that he was involved in two other incidents during the day." She shook her head. "That's what I thought." Rose ran off, I didn't know weather I'd upset her or weather she'd gone to have a go at Emmett. But I was too stressed to care. I slumped against the cooker, only for Esme to come and rap her arms around me. "I'm sorry you had a bad day." She whispered. "But I think now would be the time to go and apologize to Edward and Bella." It took me a while to realise what she meant but then I understood. "Where are they?" I questioned "In Edwards bedroom" she replied. "Thank you" I said. I leant down and kissed her forehead. I left the room, and left Esme with a confused look on her face.

I walked up the stairs, past the graduations hats and through to Edwards bedroom. I would have knocked but for some reason there wasn't a door. Edward was on the sofa, Bella was sat on his knee, and he head leant inwards against his shoulder as he stroked her hair. "Edward, Bella." I said they both sat up and stared at me- that made me feel uncomfortable- "I wanted to apologize for interrupting you both today" "Carlisle you don't have to." They both began "Yes actually I do" I interrupted them. "Would you please accept my apologizes. I wouldn't have bothered either you or Alice if it wasn't urgent you know that don't you?" "We do" Edward replied "I was more bugged that Rose had taken pleasure in interrupting us. That's what she wanted, I mean for me to be bugged by it. I shouldn't have taken it out on you." "You had every right to take it out on me Edward, but I'm glad you don't feel any anger towards me." "Of course we wouldn't feel any anger towards you Carlisle." Bella interrupted "We both know that you wouldn't disturb us unless it was absolutely necessary. We just got angry in the heat of the moment and like Edward said. It was mainly because Rose had deliberately decided to disturb us but I feel no anger towards her it's just the way she is." "Speak for yourself" Edward muttered, Bella swiftly punched him in the arm. He pretended to wince… I think. "We feel no anger against you Carlisle let me make that clear." Edward explained. "I know you don't; I just felt it was right to apologize. And I felt quite guilty." "You shouldn't have felt guilty." They both said. "You did what you felt you needed to do." Only Edward spoke now "Your apology though slightly unnecessary is accepted Carlisle." "Thank you" I said and began to make my way downstairs. "Carlisle there's one more thing." I spun around "You when you said thank you to Esme in the kitchen" I nodded "she's wandering what you needed to thank her for." "Ahh" I mumbled as I left the room.

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter; it's a bit of a filler so sorry if you found it boring. Please review I'll update soon, leave a comment if you have any ideas. If you haven't already please read my two other story's Edwards misery, Bella's destiny and the urge to eat IT. **

**Vampire who falls over a lot **


	5. Chapter 5: AN Important

**Dear readers **

**I apologise for not updating any of my story's recently as I have been revising for exams (and sitting them) after I have finished all my exams and have some spare time I will continue with my story's, but until then your just have to wait!**

**Thanks **

**I am the sparkly vampire **


	6. Chapter 6: AN another one sorry

AN

Sorry but I have more bad news. I recently went to get my eyes checked as I have been getting bad headaches whenever I read books or write on the computer. Unfortunately this means I have to spend less time on the computer as it has been bad for my eyes,

I will however continue with my stories at a slower pace than usual, please keep checking. Please still be loyal and please Please keep reading my story's.

Thanks

I am the sparkly vampire


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